I hate myself. This isn't a question of 'I like this 'I dislike this 'I wish I was more--' I hate myself, simply. My parents love me more each day. My siblings would die for me. My friends are beautiful people. I don't want pity, religion or attention. I don't. I just hate myself, it doesn't really matter. I'm not thinking that my me right now Is worse than the me I'll be later. My feelings are a constant ebb and flow. Some days I only hate myself The same way someone can hate a show. It's a background thing, nothing that needs to be dealt with. Some days, I hate myself so completely that I can't even move. And I won't say it's okay, even though it is. I've been taught that it's not okay to say it. Recovery is a process, they say. And the first step is to ignore your feelings so your parents and therapists can think they did it right.