Do
you ever notice how
the patterns on
the ceiling looks
and ever focus so long
the patterns
start to make shapes-
You
ever stare out
and watch
yourself from
another
point of view?...
Sometimes
I still do this,
we tend to be
at odds with our
perception of life,
seems what
I'm able to see
isn't pleasant or reality-
looking down
at myself.
They
call this,
an outer body
experience
when your
looking up
watch me
watching you.
Do
you feel the pain
I was feeling,
Do
you see yourself
as if in a movie,
I keep the aftermath
& the many
"before's"
steeped in secrecy,
continuing-
obscuring the facts.
Like
these DCF workers
& Court's,
Supposedly
this "System"
was set up to
rescue us
children from
terrible situations
in our
families lives
give them
a chance
at a normal
healthy life.
As
I lay here floating
above myself,
I can see
from up here
what I'm feeling
& he's more
horrific than
the one's
they sent me
to before.
Can
you imagine
the daily living
nightmare
of being
a child assuming &
thinking you
are saved
once placed
within a new home.
Only
to find the situation
worse,
I was torn from
my loving yet very
dysfunctional family,
my siblings,
not so politically correct
but SAFETY was in
our numbers.
We
were strong even
brave as we're
placed with monsters.
monsters
in my closet,
in my room,
under my bed,
in my shower,
monsters
hiding behind the
bedroom door...
He's
coming,
his footsteps-
heard on the stairs
he'll know
I'm recently
fresh out the shower,
I can smell his stickiness-
he's yet to do anything
tonight.
The monsters,
hiding in plain sight,
in daylight-
always, always at midnight
watching me,
watching, always watching
watching me eat,
watching me sleep,
touching me in my sleep,
this monster....
Do
you ever notice
how the patterns
on the ceiling looks
and ever focus so long
the patterns start to
make
shapes

Always Me Ayeshah ®
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