i had a vision...
i walked over to your place.
i called you and told you i was outside.
i don't have to stay long,
you don't even have to let me up,
i just want to see you real quick.
you came downstairs.
and i hugged you.
the next time you go dark,
you call me first.
if i have to find out
through ******* twitter again,
i will show up here unannounced,
and i will not leave.
and i caressed your face,
and kissed your cheek,
and walked away.

isn't it funny,
how we can imagine all the perfect things
that we could have done
or would like to do,
that would have improved the situation,
once they are non-factors?
that after that horrible argument,
and all those terrible things you said,
you have epiphanies,
if only you had said one thing,
the one thing they really wanted to hear,
but you were too stupid to see.
or if you had just held them,
when they were screaming at you,
why the **** do you not care?
and instead of getting defensive,
had realized what they were really saying,
and you just held them?

we spend so much time reliving moments
wishing things had gone down differently
and analyzing our part in the situation
but once we know what we were supposed to say,
how often do we really say it?
once you realize that all they wanted was a simple
i love you, i am here for you,
how often do we show up at their doorstep and deliver the message?

as a whole we act brave and invincible.
we are the greatest species alive,
nothing can break us.
but in reality we are so scared.
scared to tell people how we feel,
scared to put ourselves out there.
scared of vulnerability.

i really wish i had the nerve
to show up on your doorstep
and let you know that you are what i think about
when i am falling asleep at night.