I don't know how to love you like you want or wish me to,

I never claimed in the first place
that I knew what love was,

told you I don't think I've ever owned it

and may have rented it a time or two,

I can't be what you need
if serenity

is what your looking for,

told you I'm a bit lost to where it's like

I wish to believe in your words
but he and him

and they
said the same thing things

promised and gave their word
like your doing

How can I give in when your
a man-  my enemy

friend yet nothing of the sort,

You'd get me,
then hurt me love me

then **** the joy of
just knowing you
right outta of me

tear me down then build me up

take for granted
the day we first met

Lie to my face and disgrace what

would be a happy home
a happy us.

Hurt me so deep
I'll believe  or trust you again,
Or anyone of the opposite ***
barely trust now

but the little I'm able to give to you has me
still questioning is it all
for real,

3 years from now or even 15

will you be able to give me all your

trying to give me now?

I don't know and I'm too scared to find out,

I need to much attention
too much of your time,

so much of being reassured
You'll,  
you'll have to constantly show & tell

prove to me
no one else can take what

you're claiming
Is "mines"
away

you'd have to validate me every single day

and check in
even if your at work least 3 times a day

Call me once you're
leaving work
& make sure
you're putting me 1st

How's
this love and where, plus

when does the past stop hurting
when do I allow
you to be the man
I so desperately need.

I can't!!!
It's too much
I'll get hurt again

so

for now

please appease me

and

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