It hurts...this grief, this emptiness,
this ache for what will never be...
it hurts

It hurts...the pain is unbearable.
It feels like someone has surgically removed my heart
and they forgot to sew me back up,
they forgot to put me back together.
It's this unbearable grief, this emptiness inside of me.
I miss him so much.

It's this huge longing for something that will never be...
it hurts...it hurts so much.
And I cannot stop crying from the ache.
I don't know how to get past it.
I don't know if I can.
I don't know if it's possible.
It hurts

It hurts so much to have this aching need that will never be real again.

Tonight I am surrounded by all my memories of Jimmy.  Thinking that somehow it will all bring me healing energy…help put my broken heart back together.  Pictures of us as kids, the sweet letters we shared as adults when we no longer lived in the same states, his high school varsity jacket, his favorite bandanna. Even after all this time, I can still smell his cologne and if I squeeze my eyes shut I can almost believe that you are here with me.

I miss Jimmy tonight.
I miss his safety, and his comfort...
He made me feel safe.
I need that tonight.
I need him.
It hurts so much.
It hurts...