Jan 2014
...
I haven't cut much at all since that day,
mostly because I know that there's another way.
I never intended for the cuts to be permanent.
I wasn't trying to die, that's not what I meant.
I used to cut to deal with the memories that always came,
but now they arrive less often & bring less pain.
These marks on my arms I will always hate,
because now I realize what's at stake.
I now have happiness & joy that I can lose,
& my future all depends on what I choose.
My scars hadn't affected me the way they do now.
To live without cutting, I didn't know how.
I didn't know how to experience joy
because all I knew how to do was destroy.
No matter what happens I know I will survive,
even though my scars will always show the suffering I've endured since I was five.
At least now I actually have some closure
& I can finally start to get this over.
Now I know the identity of the man I can blame,
but I know I will survive: No Pity, No Silence, No Shame.
I haven't cut much at all since that day,
mostly because I know that there's another way.
I never intended for the cuts to be permanent.
I wasn't trying to die, that's not what I meant.
I used to cut to deal with the memories that always came,
but now they arrive less often & bring less pain.
These marks on my arms I will always hate,
because now I realize what's at stake.
I now have happiness & joy that I can lose,
& my future all depends on what I choose.
My scars hadn't affected me the way they do now.
To live without cutting, I didn't know how.
I didn't know how to experience joy
because all I knew how to do was destroy.
No matter what happens I know I will survive,
even though my scars will always show the suffering I've endured since I was five.
At least now I actually have some closure
& I can finally start to get this over.
Now I know the identity of the man I can blame,
but I know I will survive: No Pity, No Silence, No Shame.
Originally written March 2011.
This is just a small portion of a large poem I wrote about a book I read called, Scars.
For English class I wrote this poem in the point of view as the main character in the book. It was very graphic, but this excerpt relates to me, so I decided to post it.
This is just a small portion of a large poem I wrote about a book I read called, Scars.
For English class I wrote this poem in the point of view as the main character in the book. It was very graphic, but this excerpt relates to me, so I decided to post it.
