I see you and my heart stops.
You are cold as ice
And you think you're that smooth.
You freeze me
And frostbite plagues my extremities.

My panic attack goes something like
Loneliness in a crowded room
Shivering when I'm burning up
Dizziness when I'm sober
Nausea on an empty stomach.

It's the feeling of wonder.
Looking off the edge and thinking
"What if?
Considering the plunge.

My paper skin feels as if it is tearing
And my glass bones are breaking.
My porcelain nails want to scratch
Rip me out of my body
So I don't feel this way.
So I don't feel at all.

How did I let this happen?
I shut myself down
And this is all I have left.

The smog in my lungs
The blade in my grasp
The bottle on the floor
The finger in my throat.

They keep me numb to your glare.
They are an effort to make sure
That I continue to lose feeling in my soul.