i used to trust until given a reason not to,
where most do not until given a reason to.
i always was a little bit backwards in that regard.
and then came along a bad string of life experiences.
my trusting philosophy shattered into a million pieces.
and i stopped trusting, i stopped loving.
he took the most intimate part of me, without my permission.
and i stopped letting people in.
i could trust no man, sleep next to no man.
love no man.
and then you came along,
and you made me believe in men again.
i learned to trust you. i learned to love you.
and i fell asleep next to you.
i let you push my boundaries. i let you hold me,
i let you take control of me.
because i trust you, like i have never trusted another.
i fear for you. i worry about you.
so much, all the time.
fear and sadness and despair,
are all byproducts of love.
this is what i asked for. tragic, terrifying, undying, painful love.
it found me.
and i am not letting it go.
i am not letting you go.