I desperately want to be good enough.
And it's not as easy for me as for you-
even the church doesn't approve of me.
Even God would condemn me.
Of course I'm scared, and I want to turn away,
and tell myself to only trust in the self
and to be great and whole and
self-loving
while I desperately need outside love.
I cannot simply live my life and know
that He is on my side,
like you can.
Following these morals is like swimming up
a
waterfall.
I know who I was born to be.
do you want me to fight that?
Do you want me to try and overcome?
or are you telling me to accept myself?
Easy for you to say homosexuality is a sin
when you've never felt it
and you've never been scared they'll find out
like I am, every day,
and you've never held a girl's hand,
and you've never been in kindergarten and proposed
in front of the class
and your teacher looks at you and tells you
"girls don't like girls"
and then you thought to yourself, "wait...
I'm a girl?"
because every day you'd told yourself and
desperately wished
you would look like who you felt like
and you've never been repulsed by your supposed
"perfect completion" and
"opposite half"
and homosexuality has never been anything but an objective issue for you
and
God has
always loved you.
I don't know if I can survive alone.
I don't have anyone to give me unconditional love-
apparently the only one who CAN,
does not
love
those like me.
I need You.
Please.
I want a straight(or gay) answer.
God, do you love me?