it's the pain in the gut of my stomach like maybe i should say something but i'm better off if i stay quiet. it's the burning sensation in my throat like i'm about to choke up and i need to swallow before the tears come. it's the way my hands lose grip because i get so nervous around people and i constantly need to wipe them. it's the fear of going out with friends because they're probably not laughing at me but they probably are.