I look out into the world and see all this beauty And my heart runs wild As sensations I’ve never imagined rush through it And I want so badly to create these wonders I want to mould beauty So I start Eager, young, naive I begin Trying, working, struggling My teacher shows me how I try some more A kind soul corrects me I continue trying But before I show anyone my beauty I see a version more perfect More beautiful And I let mine fall I wake up No longer young or naïve or eager Doubtful, Aged, I wake my dream shatters I let it fall And I sit and try to shed tears But can’t for I am too old for that I sit watching this version of beauty pass by I know you will say We should not compare ourselves with others You will say there will always be greater and lesser people than ourselves. But in truth what is to be human? To live amongst people To be thankful when around those with less To find it hard to do the same when those arond have more. I know you will say We each have our type of beauty, One we can give, One that will move someone, One that will belong to someone It will be their version of beauty Their perfection And I think I decide that you are right I pick up my pieces Get back to work Finally I’m done My beauty is perfect in my eyes I lock it away in a place where none can find it I keep it. Once in a while I look at it Once in a while It moves me Once in a while It makes me smile For none else can see it and find fault in it None else can crush it Since it is mine I can never destroy it Once in a while It’s my perfection, My beauty
I say all this But I Lie to myself For each time I look at my beauty Look at my perfection It looks dull Unpolished And no matter how hard I want to try Always unfinished. Though I have all the time in the world. It hurts I am my own worst judge. Beauty is the reason we create Why the vampire lives forever Why a single note of the orchestra freezes hearts for one breath Why a simple melody will move souls Yet stop the evening breeze from being felt They are all perfect that’s what I want Laughable How can I possibly get there? What was I thinking Assuming. I should just let it fall one last time For beauty is clearly not meant to come from me Just observed, Some are made to create beauty I was made to be moved by it. So what do we do then? For I had dedicated my life to creating beauty Now what? Why did I have to see their beauty? Why did I foolishly look? For the funny part is They are my image, or maybe I’m the cheap imitation of theirs.