I'm trying to let go.
I'm trying to let you leave & just be -just me, no more you.
No more guilt, no more shame, no more regret.
I look at you, I'm disgusted.
I look at me, I'm disgusted.
We are one in the same.. We are one.
Though everyone tells me we aren't! Everyone tells me you look nothing like me, we share no similarities, though how can that be when I look at myself & all I see is YOU?
How can we be separate, though so closely tied at the hip -the leg, the chest, & the wrists?
How can you not define who I am, when you make up my identity? How do you not define me when your marks are left all over this skin that I'm in -this skin that once belonged to you?

I want you to let me go. Just let me leave, release me from your grip & let me just be!
Let me live, let me feel true peace without your taunting laughs!
I no longer want your presence on my body-I no longer want your kisses, though they feel so soft & smooth against my icy cold skin.

Though truth be told, I think you did leave me.. After all, no one stays in my life. Nothing permanent.. Nothing permanent besides these ******* portraits that you painted oh so devilishly across my being! These permanent ******* WOUNDS that still BURN & STING no matter how many months or years have gone by! No matter how many skin cells that have took the righteous path & decided to stitch together.  

YOU HAVE RUINED ME.

I want to believe that it's you that can't let me go, that it's you that won't let me be, but in reality I know you can survive without me.. You can carry on without me, just as all the others do. The question comes down to this:

Can I carry on without you?