I had finally decided
I was going to start smoking tomorrow,
it seemed like a good time to start something new.
I did my research and I knew
I was going to go *******,
I was going to become a Marlboro Man.
Yeah baby, I was going to
go for the gusto, eat the whole enchilada.
That's just my style,
never half-throttle,
always 110%.


So I was chilling out
getting ready for tthe big day,
had flipped on the tube and
wouldn't you know it,
the first thing I watch
is a ****** commercial
of a guy taking a shower
covering
a hole in his neck.

Like, how's a guy supposed
to wash his hair
with a hole in his neck?

That's why I hate TV,
especially the commercials.
I was really looking forward
to becoming a smoker.
Now, there's no way in hell
I'm gonna do it,
I gotta keep my hair clean!