i wrote you a song
and i wanted it to be loud
i wanted it to be angry and piercing

and i wanted it to ring in your ears like your absence rang in mind but when i sang it

it was soft.

it was quiet and careful and i didn't mean it that way but when the words escaped my lips they fought their way into my aching fingertips (aching like the rest of me)
and it was beautiful notes that i strummed instead of dead ones.

i wrote you a song and i wanted it to be loud

i wanted it to be deafening.

because your love left me that way and it's only fair

i wrote you a song and i wanted it to be loud.

but loud things aren't as beautiful and that's all you ever were.