Lets face it.
Shes better than me.

Shes cool and collected.
Im funny and quirky.

Shes elegant,
Graceful.

Im clumsy,
Very , very  clumsy.

Dark, smooth, silky hair
Frames her snow white face,
High cheekbones and all.

Golden ,Wild ringlet curls,
Fall where ever they please,
Around my pale, undefined face.

She was the new girl,
That I once was.

She writes beautiful music,
And her voice,
Clean as a whistle.

I barley write poems,
And my voice,
Comes from the bottom of my soul.

Shes just effortlessly thin,

While i struggle everyday,
With trying to look normal.


Wait.
Just wait.
Why am I comparing?
...
Oh yeah,

You.

Just thinking about you
And her.
Or even you,
And anybody
Makes me want to,
Crawl back,
Into my now broken shell.
And now you will see her,
In a different light.
And i am in the background,
With my eyelids pried open,
Being forced to watch.

Normally if fall into darkness,
You would grab my hand,
And pull me in the spotlight,
With you.
But what if your not there this time?
Questions like that,
Rip apart my mind.
I get to see,
Just how good of an actor,
you REALLY are.

A girl passes me,
Written on her heart,
Is your name .
Another girl then passes me,
It reads the same.
This happens several times.
Then,
My head freezes over.
And my mind blanks out.
Leaving only one thought.
"Am I a fool?"
Do you want to
"play" with my emotions?
Do you want to
Act to see if you can get the lead?
Do you want to
See how many hearts you can win?
Is that what your doing?
Or are they pushing themselves
On you?
I never have,
I wouldn't know the experience.
Thats why i question you.
Your motives.

I felt maybe i was different.
You remember almost everything.,
I say.
You tell me everything.
You hang around ,
me.
So what does that mean?
Huh?
I dont want to assume the worst,
If you are pure of heart.
But my gut is telling me otherwise.
But as for that girl,
I will have to sit and wait,
Just like i have been doing.
Except this has a new deadline.
And will help with your story,
And especially my story.

Theres a lump in my throut,
I don't know what i feel,
Jealousy?
Defeat?
I just want you to be happy,
And i don't know who that is,
Yet.