Toilet paper

I love you so much, toilet paper
And all of the things that you do
I love it so much when you dry my tears
Or cleanse my bottom of poo

Sometimes it hurts when I see
just how much you've changed
How your wonderful, glorious white
For brown you have exchanged

You are like a sister
A best friend or a mom
You helped me with my makeup
When I was readying for prom

You have never once complained
When I've torn you apart
You never once
seemed disappointed
When I didn't poo-but ****

My greatest wishes to you
Mr. Toilet Paper Man
You have never let me down
Since **** had hit the fan.