Numbness...
That's all I feel now a days.
January 1st brings the total to four times now.
Four failed times.
I no longer wish to be here, I haven't wished to be here for months.
This is the only way I know out and one day I'll fully succeed.
Haven't you ever wanted something so badly that it possesses you?
The craving.
That's all you're able to think about.
At least that's how it is for me.
Nothing is ever stable enough for me.
I think I'm happy but then I realize that I'm just lying to myself also,
along with everyone else.

At school I'm the so called stable person.
With friends I'm the weird, loud one.
With family I'm the quiet, nose stuck in a book person.
When I'm alone...well, when I'm alone all I want is to be dead. I finally become my true self..;
Depressed,
Suicidal,
Insane,
Unstable,
Self-harmer girl.

The girl that all she wants to do is tie a noose around her neck. Take one to many pills. Jump off the roof. Step in front of a car.

This is all this girl wants to do. But she can't say that to anyone can she. She just wants peace from herself and to sleep forever..to never awake.
That..is her final wish.