My parents do not quite understand.
Insert teenage angsty movie title here.
Yes, I hang out with people who are older than me,
Much older than me.
But it is because I generally do not get along with people my age.
Never have, and they know that well enough.

I guess they think that is why I have been subject to,
Drugs, alcohol, ****** activity (both wanted and unwanted)
From a young age.
NO.

First of all,
The girl who really introduced me to smoking and drinking,
Is less than a year older than me.
Sure, I have smoked at work.
But that does not mean that I would not have started.

My ex is older than me.
I wanted to have *** with him.
I do not regret
Our long days under sheets,
Becoming each others' skies.
His strong arms held me,
And I wanted to be held.

Plus, PS: all guys that are even close to my age,
Their hormones are raging at record speeds.
If not him, it would have been someone else.
That does not make me a ****,
That makes me human.

And you think that I could have prevented,
The completed, or attempted, ****** assaults
That I have survived,
Had I not hung around an older crowd?
Try again.

Time one: a family member.
Sure, he was older.
But my parents and his were in the same house when it happened.
I do not think that could have been avoided.

Time two: a church member.
He was two years older than me,
In a game of hide-and-go-seek.
He sought me out.
He tried to attack me.
Sure, he was cute.
But he ended up being nothing but dirt.
I got away from that one, however.

Those are the two that they are aware of.

Time three: a friend.
A friend who is my age.
I hesitate to call it ****** assault,
Because I, initially, was interested.
I hesitated to say no until it came to ***.
However, I did say that I was not comfortable doing things with him.

He did not listen.

He lied, said we would be together.
He teased, calling me a *****, accusing me of leading him on,
Saying he could not help himself.
He manipulated, saying that he would not treat me like my ex did,
Saying that he would not do anything to make me uncomfortable.

I could have avoided this by never even mentioning the idea of us.
But I could not have avoided it by hanging out with younger friends.
He is my age.

Some nights, I want to tear my skin off.
I have tried to wash every trace of guys like them out of my body.
I have dyed my hair,
Changed my style,
Have wanted to lose weight in the worst way.
All because you make me feel *****.

So no, Mom and Pop,
Hanging out with an older group does not cloud my vision.
In fact, it has proved itself to be a safe place for me.