There’s an elephant in the room
Sitting
In the place you would have been

The thought of you hits me like a silent train
I thought had already derailed
But the tracks
Follow me ruthless

A drop turns into a flood
Leaving an outline on my pillow
It’s shaped just like
The world you shaped just for me

There’s a sadness in my mother’s eyes
That I could never quite pronounce
It courses her veins and lives in the
Parentheses around her mouth

So much as to say it out loud
Causes my voice to shatter
The hardest thing she’s ever had to do
Is love

I have to push you away now
Like I have for months
I hate the fire you bring to my throat
Though I’ve always loved a flame

You are every star in the night sky
Illuminating
My courage is too short fused
To handle dark nights

Love, always