In the morning I wake and cry
because even my dreams
have become unbearable.
In the afternoon I go to work
and fake a smile and feel happy
while serving people food.
I haven't spent an evening alone,
I can't let myself be alone yet.
The company makes me smile
and laugh and forget my pain.
I tell them "I don't care"
but they all know I really do.
and they tell me "Move on"
but that's the other thing... I can't.

You don't know what it's like
to comfort someone as they sob
while they break up with you.
It's almost like an angry sad comfort.
All you want to do is wring their neck
and scream and beg them to stay
but you can't.
You sit there wondering why you arent in tears
and say "It's going to be okay"
when even you know it won't be.
And when he needs to leave,
and you've kept him too long,
you bring your anger out in the form of tears.
You say your goodbyes and I'm sorry's
and force yourself out of the car
with tear stained eyes,
and your emotions bringing you onto
the icy concrete of your driveway to sob
as he drives away for the last time.

So how am I?
I don't know.
Numb?
Emotionless?
No, none of the above.
I think I just feel
nothing.