Do you see
me flinch at
every word
or touch?
Do you see
how my shoulders never
fully relax, how
my feet never step
out of
their alert stance?
Do you see
the way my fist
keeps clenching?
Do you see
the nail marks
turned bruises
on my palm?
Do you see
me digging my fingers
into the same places
on my left arm
and right hip?
Do you see
the inflamed red lines
(I made)
peeking out
from under my sleeve?
Do you see
how my smiles
don't mean
I'm happy,
they mean
I'm desperate
to hide this
from everyone?

Please,
please,
say no.