I am paralysed by the thought of another year
yet another year wasted in ignorance
with self destruction reigning, and I now
with nothing to show

I am mortified by the thought so many can
see my flaws bared in squandered time
hours given over to my demons and
with nothing to show

I am terrified by the thought that this was
another in the long line of years that
passed in a daze, a blurred haze, left
with nothing to show

I am mystified by the method of time's passing
how quickly it flew and I let it slip
so that the year is almost bled dry
with nothing to show

I am petrified by the idea my grand year
the year meant to equal recovery has
led to worse pain, relapse, and fled
with nothing to show

I am paralysed, again, by the fact that
I don't even want to be alive next year
and that for 2014 I will have
even less to show

*© Tara India.