You won't want me at 5am when I'm crying because I want to fall asleep and not wake up later that day.

You won't want me at 6am when I'm silent and unmoving because I can't bear to acknowledge that I'm alive.

You won't want me at 7am when my breathing is shallow but my mind is screaming at me in my dreams.

You won't want me at 2pm when I am awake but not wanting to leave the sanctity of my bed.

You won't want me at 4pm when I finally convince myself the day has to start.

You won't want me at 7pm when I'm ready for it all to end.

You won't want me at 9pm when I lay in my bed making up stanzas of words for life to make sense.

You won't want me at 11pm when the loneliness has such a firm hold on me I feel suffocated.

You won't want me at 1am when the tears start to fall as I think of how much I can't stand myself.

You won't want me at 3am when my chest tightens and my heart is heavy while I miss someone who doesn't exist.

And again at 5am, the tears start to fall and I can't stand the pain anymore so I realize it in the form of lines on myself.

You won't want me.

Not now.

Not later.



Not ever.