When I say I'm mad at you
I do mean it
But it varies between
Being ****** as hell
But still loving you
And hating you
For making me feel things.

When I say I'm mad at you
For me that means
Being mad at you
Is easier than being crippled
with fear and pain
I can stay standing
When I'm mad at you.

When I say I'm mad at you
It's easier for me to say than
"What you did hurts me because I care about you."
Somehow I just can't
Ever get those words out
But instead
I'm burdened by taut silence.

When I say I'm mad at you
Please accept
Those words for what they mean
That I'm not mad at you
That I love you
That I'm scared
And I don't know how to tell you.