I no longer feel joy within myself.
I'm always searching for something more
and It's ruining me because I never know what it is.

I want to be happy,
But at the same time
I don't want to feel any happier
than what I'm feeling now.
I know that if I search hard enough,
I'll find what I'm looking for
but I have to find motivation first.

It take way to much effort to even be able
to get out of bed.
Or even look at myself in the mirror.
How can I go through life
if it pains me to look at myself.

I can't keep going like this.