Dec 2013
I feel stupid and scared when my insecurity exposes What I am. My environment, biology, and temperament make the perfect storm to What I am. What I wear, what I look like, what I do, what I enjoy, what I buy, all lead me to these tangible ideas of what I am. The most dangerous ideas are the ones that make me look and feel good. They get addicting……But how horribly great is it to be rescued with the humility of a juicy failure? I can see this best when my actions slow down to keystrokes. In hindsight my biggest failures are my greatest successes. Now only if I could conquer the great quest to be a great failure. Then I’d be free to be What I Am with no vices or pain! But alas the ideas of perfection keep scuffing my ego. I’m getting better at failing and maybe one day I’ll be perfect at it! So you see my dilemma? Well I wish it stopped there but alas there’s another variable in the mix that makes my dilemma turn barbaric: and it is the Who I AM (Soul). What I am (Body) is not the Who I Am (soul). So the paradox begins “For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.”(Galatians 5:17) Sworn enemies now inhabit the same space and it’s impossible to separate them through this process called humanity. Their like roommates who hate each other to the point of ******! Now the key word in the scripture is "battle" which means two things:
1. I can win a battle-I can lose a battle
2. I can be lazy-I can be prepared.
For you see the Earth touches the What I am (body) with temptation and fears that many times distracts me from manifesting the full potential of Who I Am (Soul).
I’ve spent my whole life fighting for the identity of What I Am (body) when in the end the whatever I am dies with my body. The What I am can not continue to rout my soul. In our culture there is an infinite amount of ways to build on the perishing What I Am and only a few for recognizing the who I am. But I must fight back on the side of Who I am (soul) which is eternal. This is scary and definitely unpopular to the What I am is what makes me happy Yolo culture but let’s get serious. Here’s some indicators of a losing battle: Insecurity, pride and jealousy are great signatures on the victory flags of the What I Am (body) camp. Here is where you can ask yourself deeper questions and reconsider. This will be far more scary and painful than you can ever imagine because this deals with what you have always perceived as your identity for your entire life. This is the road less traveled. The time is now!!!!! My battle cry is: “Jesus by your strength only do I claim victory of Who I Am!”…………………. If anyone wants to talk I'm here to learn and grow:)
1. I can win a battle-I can lose a battle
2. I can be lazy-I can be prepared.
For you see the Earth touches the What I am (body) with temptation and fears that many times distracts me from manifesting the full potential of Who I Am (Soul).
I’ve spent my whole life fighting for the identity of What I Am (body) when in the end the whatever I am dies with my body. The What I am can not continue to rout my soul. In our culture there is an infinite amount of ways to build on the perishing What I Am and only a few for recognizing the who I am. But I must fight back on the side of Who I am (soul) which is eternal. This is scary and definitely unpopular to the What I am is what makes me happy Yolo culture but let’s get serious. Here’s some indicators of a losing battle: Insecurity, pride and jealousy are great signatures on the victory flags of the What I Am (body) camp. Here is where you can ask yourself deeper questions and reconsider. This will be far more scary and painful than you can ever imagine because this deals with what you have always perceived as your identity for your entire life. This is the road less traveled. The time is now!!!!! My battle cry is: “Jesus by your strength only do I claim victory of Who I Am!”…………………. If anyone wants to talk I'm here to learn and grow:)
