I once thought of Christmas
As a time of cheer and laughs
A time when family rounded together
Life has made my cynical

Now I see Christmas
As the adulterated holiday it is
**** presents, I'm broke
**** family, I'm ostracized
**** this, I look to Jesus
****, I'm wrong

I try to find the 'reason for the season'
But the harder I look, the more hardened I become
I want it to mean something again
Just like it used to when I was 10
But never again
Will I wish for Santa to come
Will I get excited for presents
Will I scrape together my piggy bank to please those that snub me
Will I regain what I've lost

I search for answers in my girlfriend
Reassured that our love will save me
From this cynical, unholy matrimony that I'm caught in
I'm Henry the 8th now,
I want a divorce
I want the love of Christmas again
I want to believe that this is all for Jesus
I want to think that I love him above all
But I don't, and I won't
Until I release this inner anger and angst

I'm forcing an annulment
I'm playing my hand
I'm trying so hard to fit in
But I realize, there's no way I can