Dec 2013
Born to live..but what for?..Love? Love hurts. Hating it but loving it I am bound by fate, the unknowing feeling that haunts my dreams and writes my life; do I really want full control my life? What is life if I cannot find danger in the risks I take..right on the edge of failure and continuing for that small chance to find that small, fading light that my heart so desires to obtain.
My eyes burn as tears slowly fall down my face my heart collapses. How could I have done this so wrong?? Its killing me slowly, forcing me to endure this torture..as if someone is very slowly sliding a rusted, burning, sharp knife through my chest. I struggle to resist this torment as my strength is fading fast; when will this end? Choking on my own pain I cannot find the right words to save my life..watching everything fade away I close my eyes and let this torture endure.
Three days have passed now and this torture continues to attack with nothing held back. Now I know this pain shall not cease until I start to repair my life; finding an ounce of hope I get up and walk out of my door. Frightened of failure I throw aside that thought and ask for forgiveness without expectancy. Startled by the reaction, we both struggle to live without the other..feeling the warmth of your embrace I feel a burning sensation in my eyes that I try ever so hard to resist. My heart is racing..seeking refuge in your heart. This is my home. I love it. I love you. I can't lose you. I can't lose this love.
The worse has happened..I lost you, you told me this is what you need. My heart shattered into a million pieces as my body goes numb..paralyzed by fate. Your eyes broken, red, crying into me as the world is collapsing on top of us. I struggle to regain even the smallest bit of my strength..several painful minutes pass as I finally say the word I never wanted to say..bye. As I shut the door I stop..no, what is this? I cannot lose her, this is the worst. I cast every thought aside besides you and my love. I open the door once more and walk towards you saying I couldn't be so stupid as to leave you. As you throw your arms at me I embrace you..I embrace my home. I no longer seek that light..for I was too foolish to see that everything I could ever need and want has been right in front of me all along and I have been stupid enough to make the mistake of even thinking about leaving. Back with you..I am now complete once more. The torture ceased. Fate doesn't control all of my life..I control the parts I wish to control the most. I breath you in..knowing what I believe inside..I am awake and alive.
My eyes burn as tears slowly fall down my face my heart collapses. How could I have done this so wrong?? Its killing me slowly, forcing me to endure this torture..as if someone is very slowly sliding a rusted, burning, sharp knife through my chest. I struggle to resist this torment as my strength is fading fast; when will this end? Choking on my own pain I cannot find the right words to save my life..watching everything fade away I close my eyes and let this torture endure.
Three days have passed now and this torture continues to attack with nothing held back. Now I know this pain shall not cease until I start to repair my life; finding an ounce of hope I get up and walk out of my door. Frightened of failure I throw aside that thought and ask for forgiveness without expectancy. Startled by the reaction, we both struggle to live without the other..feeling the warmth of your embrace I feel a burning sensation in my eyes that I try ever so hard to resist. My heart is racing..seeking refuge in your heart. This is my home. I love it. I love you. I can't lose you. I can't lose this love.
The worse has happened..I lost you, you told me this is what you need. My heart shattered into a million pieces as my body goes numb..paralyzed by fate. Your eyes broken, red, crying into me as the world is collapsing on top of us. I struggle to regain even the smallest bit of my strength..several painful minutes pass as I finally say the word I never wanted to say..bye. As I shut the door I stop..no, what is this? I cannot lose her, this is the worst. I cast every thought aside besides you and my love. I open the door once more and walk towards you saying I couldn't be so stupid as to leave you. As you throw your arms at me I embrace you..I embrace my home. I no longer seek that light..for I was too foolish to see that everything I could ever need and want has been right in front of me all along and I have been stupid enough to make the mistake of even thinking about leaving. Back with you..I am now complete once more. The torture ceased. Fate doesn't control all of my life..I control the parts I wish to control the most. I breath you in..knowing what I believe inside..I am awake and alive.
