screaming inside.
deaf like winter nights.
as unbroken as a sheet of glass.
blank and see through.

the lump sum of every rotted feeling.
all the things I've always known I am.
all the things you always thought I was.
all of these things,  they come out at night.
and they are not sleeping.

they make me face the many ways,
how I wanted to mourn you.
how I wanted to forget you.
and how I'm never sincere enough,
to know just what I want.

how I am hurting.
no one but myself.

I am, screaming inside.
making myself deaf like winter nights
when I am afraid to make a sound,
I'm only courageous enough to take a drag,
and then I have nothing left to take from you.