Being alive doesn't seem right
I knew that for a while
but now, it's becoming clear
something was off
and I now realize
that I'm not supposed to be here.
The whole point of life is happiness
and I can't have that without him
or without hope
of self-worth
so there's no reason
that I should suffer through
restless nights and fights inside of my head
over whether I should stay or go
and it's killing me
not being able to tell him