What do they expect of me?
To get perfect grades,
to know everything,
to be there for everyone every time
even when no one tells me what's going on.
I have to be athletic but god forbid I get thin
or muscular,
and god forbid I sleep.

I can sleep when I'm dead,
which at this rate will be soon
because who could keep this up, really,
for more than a week
and I've been going for months.

But months drag into months
and the days all blur together,
but that's fine because I think if every moment
were clear I might just slice my wrists now
and be done with it.

But I'm not done yet,
seeing as there are still things I haven't researched
and someone else's homework to do
(because they'll fail math if this paper isn't perfect),
there are siblings to torment
and cats to play with,
and wire to the side that I'm too scared to cut deep with.

So the cuts are shallow but long
and they don't fade as fast as I'd like,
but they're something
that no one expects of me.