My body aches for acknowledgement
and a mere sense of safety
and closeness.
I am like a small child
yearning for some kind of attention
some small sense of affirmation.

My mind wanders from time to time
into the dark abyss that is my past.
Parental issues
and every other issue for that matter,
but all that mattered when I was young
was being old
and when I didn't feel love
like I should've
someone showed me an alternative.
The lust I felt at a young age,
wasn't ideal.
Nothing was ideal for me
it was more so just, life.

Life took my sanity
and I fell victim
to a lack there of.
Falling accustomed
to being under the covers.
falling accustomed
to being under another
falling accustomed
to not wanting to be a child
but wanting to grow up
so I could say
stop it, go away.

But I grew up quickly
and I learned just the same
that no one
not even you
can degrade my name.
The *****
the brunette
and the monster in my bed
are all what seem to run through my head
are all the reasons I wish I were dead.