Lately I feel like nothing is important. Nothing makes sense anymore. Maybe it's because I lost something, a part of me. You were always here for me when I felt like this but even you left. Why did you leave? You told me it was because you had no longer feelings for me, you didn't love me anymore. You told me I wasn't good enough and that you doubted every feeling, every spark you ever felt for me. But if that is the truth why did you put up with it? Why bother? Do you like to see how I'm drowning in my misery?

It's is making me so angry. I can feel the anger inside of me at this point I'm even scaring myself. Can't everything just go back to how it used to be?

Somehow you are still the first thing that comes up in my mind. I miss you every day, the feeling does not go away. I'm afraid it's going to last forever. I can't forget you. I keep fantasizing how you walk into my room and tell me that everything is alright, everything is better than it ever was. We can get back together again and love will never define itself so good. But then I get smacked in my face by reality because you're not here and you don't love me anymore.

What happens when we let go? Where is the memory going? I've been thinking about this for such a long time. I figured if I hold on to the thought of you, you will stay with me, only in my memory but maybe that's how it's supposed to be. Just because I'm no longer with you doesn't mean I will forget you. But once you give in there is no way back, I'm not sure if I'm willing to take that risk. I'm not sure if I want to let go.

You will always be with me in my memory and I will carry you in my heart, even though you broke it.