Sometimes I get into a mood in which absolutely everything is beautiful,
and everything connects to a thousand others
and I could spend hours staring and taking in a succession of beautiful things,
and I end up finding absolutely disgusting things beautiful,
- not so much disgusting things which it's disgusting to find beautiful,
and I don't give a ****.
But I'm terrified to look at myself in the mirror or read anything I've written,
because if I can find such things beautiful but not myself,
then I know I'm really *******,
and I don't want to know.