It seems that something has been flipped, as i sit in classes about literature, about music, about life. It seems I'm capable of recovering from love lost, in the best way possible. I have hope. I remember the things you taught before you broke my heart, and begin to mend the pain. I feel the soothing of my own heart beating against fear and self-loathing and sorrow. And I know that I can be saved. I can  be pulled from the depths of this ocean. Not by you, or by another, or by a friend, but by me.


I kick and struggle until there, i see it. The most glorious light. New and beautiful and free. I'm torn, i can't just give up on our love; but I can't take it with me, not in the same form, of course. So i mold it shape it into something I'm proud of, into something innocent, and pure, and lovely. That is closer to our beginning than our end. I swim and swim. Until I'm walking ashore. Until I'm free of pain, and fear, and guilt, and sorrow. Until I come closer to the thing I've been searching for. What I've longed to find. Few others gather round, each knowing the purpose it will serve us, save us.


I take in the shear power of it above me. It grows and grows with no beginning and no end, there are some climbing up, and others slowly descending; heading towards yet another beginning, I look back once. To remember the things I'd learned, I loved. I stretch for the first bough and foothold, frustrated when I can't reach. Then up and up I go, I look back again, and there you are, helping me on my journy. I pull you up, too. And then begins the adventure. We will ever spend oure days climbing higher the limbs of the tree of life. Living, learning, always looking up, moving forward.


Pushing each other along  until we can survive on our own. Until we know our love and ourselves. Then there will be joy. Then ther will be progress. There will be change. There will be sacrifices, failures, success, trials, love and hope. Mostly hope, fo a world and i life that means more than a past. Fort he ability to give up tomorrows and yesterdays for right now. To froget what if, just to live. To give yourself completely over and over agian with no fear, or strings attached. Just Hope, and maybe Love.