What they don't tell you is that
the first time you punch that hole
in your soft, unresisting ivory skin,
waiting like a ****** stretch of snow
(whether it's your blade
or nails
maybe teeth or keys)
you're not letting your pain out so much
as you're letting in
little demons, big appetites, twisted thoughts.
You used to be scared
of that first step but now
addiction has replaced your fear. All
you want is another little crack in your now
not-so-****** stretch of skin.
You need to let the pressure out, let your pain
out, let them slowly leak away let
every little demon in, a little more
and you feel them call for your blood.
The whispers become deafening and still
you watch them multiply until they
reach your mind
set up camp in every thought
and you realize you were not letting them in
for the first time, but rather
welcoming them home.