And now there's a gap where the last eight hours should hang sitting in a hospital bed looking at my boss across the way arms crossed, thumbing his mustache like cleaning a brush He says, "Forgive us, but we had your mouth reconstructed" "As well as your wounds healed. We didn't think you'd mind." I say, "I don't mind. I don't like liquid diets, anyway." Why does it hurt so much? No work for me for now. He tells me I'm dying and that I'm strung out too far! Tells me I'm putting too much in to what turns to scar. Take some time off he says and give myself a chance. Forgotten for so long to grin and ask myself to dance. So I say, so say you, and I'll try but I'm fine.
And now there's a plan unfolding without my direct discretion I can feel strings somewhere above as they're pulled softly I sleep on the train after dressing up doll-like at home Makeup and suicide tools wrapped around my curves in laughing walls A women in red locks is taunting me from inside her ward, so familiar "I should never have let you go," I say as I'm approaching "I could have found you out," I say but she laughs once more And sets herself on fire Nothing but ash before me just out of reach The dust swirling Motes of adolescence tickling my fingertips Why does it hurt so much? Waking I can't place her face. Arrive at The Roxy. Beneath her neon sign I absorb cold rain in a way that makes my spine quake. And inside the lobby, through my boots, I feel the floor erupting from the music just through the doors. Why do I come here? Knowing there's nothing. I'm nothing.