The circles under my eyes darken with all the sleepless nights I’ve spent
Consumed
By the answer I can never be
For my loves haunted by addiction
For all the fragments
I’m wondering if all my empty spots where love didn’t learn to grow are showing
Wondering if only God can love the broken things, if only God can love me
It took three days back in that life to make me question
Everything
I’ve become
Of my value
Worried people can see the sadness induced insecurity that’s triggering desperate longing
Craving the wrong places, people and choices because my haunted loves are right –
short term escape is more tempting
But it means murder of who I was meant to be and I’m unwilling to sacrifice everything I fought for
Everything I am
My self-renaissance
Today it’s a battle of tear stained lullabies and vintage heartbreak revivals
And I may be losing now
But I’ll be damned if I lose the war