i hate the winter
but when i was young,
a single saving grace,
was my grandmother —
she made sure christmas
felt like magic,
a time i felt i was safe
she’d stay up the night before
driving herself ******* mental
decorating, perfecting,
making sure that for a kid like me,
it would be something special
it wasnt the ornaments
neatly spaced,
it wasnt the dollhouse
set up under the tree,
perfectly placed
it was her love,
her rosey red cheeks
puffed up as she smiled
and for a moment
i saw her as a child
a time of the past now
it has since lost its magic
ive lost my saving grace
when it gets cold now
i start to panic
the cold is sharp,
quick to move
it creates a home in
the tip of my nose
all the way down
to each of my toes
my mind starts to sputter
the engine wont run,
that seasonal ******** is here
i surrender, winter,
you got me, lock the door,
im done
everything moves
so **** slow,
i spend so much time
wondering if ill ever
see something as beautiful
as my grandmothers glow
when i got older
i felt most at home
in the drivers seat
by myself, all alone
it was my first love
driving around
for hours on end
just waiting for a spark
a sign from these wires
that there was still life in them
there it was, i saw it
did you?
the dashboard lit up,
i found the problem,
i think i know what to do
if i were to decorate in here,
right in this front seat,
maybe that would give me relief?
could it make me smile,
could it lighten my grief?
when i spruce it up,
will winter finally
not spend all of its time
eating my mind up?
i hung ornaments on the roof
the interior wrapped with tinsel
superglued a snowglobe
smack dab in the middle
i hung lights up
as my final plea,
ive perfected every ornament
check it, come see
i know i sound crazy,
but get in the **** car
sit back, stay awhile
all id like to see you do
is crack a smile
you’ll love it, i swear
stop in whenever,
i built this little world
because winter was never fair