It’s happened again,
it’s happened again.
Cozy? You fool!
It’s happened again.
The distance you’ve gone,
the changes you’ve made,
the total was nothing
yet everything
you paid.
8h ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 2:15 PM UTC
i hate the winter
but when i was young,
a single saving grace,
was my grandmother —
she made sure christmas
felt like magic,
a time i felt i was safe
she’d stay up the night before
driving herself ******* mental
decorating, perfecting,
making sure that for a kid like me,
it would be something special
it wasnt the ornaments
neatly spaced,
it wasnt the dollhouse
set up under the tree,
perfectly placed
it was her love,
her rosey red cheeks
puffed up as she smiled
and for a moment
i saw her as a child
a time of the past now
it has since lost its magic
ive lost my saving grace
when it gets cold now
i start to panic
the cold is sharp,
quick to move
it creates a home in
the tip of my nose
all the way down
to each of my toes
my mind starts to sputter
the engine wont run,
that seasonal ******** is here
i surrender, winter,
you got me, lock the door,
im done
everything moves
so **** slow,
i spend so much time
wondering if ill ever
see something as beautiful
as my grandmothers glow
when i got older
i felt most at home
in the drivers seat
by myself, all alone
it was my first love
driving around
for hours on end
just waiting for a spark
a sign from these wires
that there was still life in them
there it was, i saw it
did you?
the dashboard lit up,
i found the problem,
i think i know what to do
if i were to decorate in here,
right in this front seat,
maybe that would give me relief?
could it make me smile,
could it lighten my grief?
when i spruce it up,
will winter finally
not spend all of its time
eating my mind up?
i hung ornaments on the roof
the interior wrapped with tinsel
superglued a snowglobe
smack dab in the middle
i hung lights up
as my final plea,
ive perfected every ornament
check it, come see
i know i sound crazy,
but get in the **** car
sit back, stay awhile
all id like to see you do
is crack a smile
you’ll love it, i swear
stop in whenever,
i built this little world
because winter was never fair
9h ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 1:19 PM UTC
my mother was
the first one
to break my heart,
it was accidental —
she just never learned
how to play her part
where was that connection,
that bond at birth?
why did i have to wonder
when i was a child
what my life was worth?
i remember the scent
of strong perfume
as she left with haste
saying she’d be back soon
soon was a loose term
soon meant days on end
it meant moments of panic
will i ever see her again?
**** wait, do we have bread?
ah, there she is,
everything is fine
she’d stumble in days late
when the relief hit, it washed away
the built up worry and hate
(she’d find the knife hidden under my bed,
one of my only memories at eight)
she told me she loved me
more than every star in the sky,
everything i do is for you,
gullible
i always believed that lie
“whats the big deal?
i deserve a life too”
i didnt ask to be here,
a choice was made,
but youre right, im sorry
how dare i ruin this for you
im a miracle child
but it feels more like a curse,
you broke my heart
when i learned
that existing
made your life worse
20h ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 2:11 AM UTC
i have a silly little dream
way up in the sky
to have a place of rest
a safe space to cry
my mothers touch
was more of a grab
it was a
“did you get paid today?
show me what you have”
every last penny
is yours to keep
will it grant me
a place to weep?
1d ago
Jun 2, 2026 at 1:31 AM UTC