is this it?
have i done it now?
are you so sick of me
that you can’t see that i'm so sorry
i know i need to stop,
but in my body it feels wrong
in my bones, in my blood
it stays cruelly prolonged
it hurts you too, i know it does
and i can’t help but think
about how i once was.
i just want to get better,
i want us to be free
of this wicked and dark monster
who lives internally.
i see it in corners, in cracks on the sidewalk
warning me
that there is no place it cannot stalk
i cling to you hard,
nails gripping and scratching
for the last thing that i know is real
and you’re that being.
and it’s all just my fault,
it’s all one vicious cycle
i hurt you, i’m sorry, i’ll get better.
i’m sorry, michael
i’m sorry. (i love you)