Sometimes when we're alone, she touches me,
But not just touches me,
She grips me
But not just grips me,
It's something more,
Like she's trying to hold on to the very last thing that means anything to her.
A grasp so tight that I can't break free,
Her fingers trap the flesh beneath.
She squeezes as if she's going through the worst pain known to mankind,
And I know that deep down, she is.
She holds on as if letting go would mean she'd fall off the face of the earth all together
And I know that deep down, she wishes she could.
She grits her teeth and squeezes her eyes shut,
Tears peek out of the corners.
I know what she's thinking about.
She's thinking about that night, three years ago.
She's thinking about the stale smell of cheap alcohol on his breath,
She's thinking about the paralyzing fear that pulsed through her body as she tried to resist,
She's thinking about how she doesn't understand why for some people,
The word "no" just doesn't cut it
She's thinking about how if maybe she hadn't had that last drink,
Or worn that tight dress,
Then maybe it would be different.
She's thinking about, "why me"
She's thinking about, "when will the pain stop"
She's thinking about how she wishes that she could just stop thinking.
But instead, she touches me.
But not just touches me,
She grips me.