I often lie awake with my thoughts playing on a loop inside my head.
Mostly consisting of past memories, good or bad, and things yet to come.
I often lie awake and think about what my wedding will be like.
Not in a typical way, but in a different way.

I think about how amazing that feeling will be,
when the man I love gets down on one knee,
and he'll ask me to be his soul mate,
his best friend,
and partner forever.
Out of the billions of other people on this planet he met you.
And out of the many relationships he had he fell in love with you.
He is committing his one and only life to you.

Everyone will be around you with that same feeling you have, pure bliss.
It's a magical moment forever embedded within.

I hope he's prepared to handle a girl like me.
Broken but functioning.

But for the first time in your life you won't feel worthless,
you won't feel like he could do better.
Your whole life has led up to this point,
and will continue with him by your side.
You won't be alone.

You will be his world.
Nothing else will matter,
and life will finally begin.