I glance in the mirror
A habit set since I was 8
No, maybe it was younger
I remember feeling it at 6
That feeling
of not feeling like I look
“Quite right”
Like there was
something to be fixed
Maybe it started
with my eyebrows
Then traveled
to my lips
Further down
to my arms
Then to my waist
From there
to my knees
Maybe even my feet
To summarize:
my whole entirety
I don’t know
why I feel this way
I take the compliments,
Though not in vain
I consider them
specimens to be analyzed
Every word
a delusion to be revealed
I think about them
The way I was described
All good things,
dont get me wrong
From then on out
I picked apart
the body they liked
Trying to find faults
in my figure
In my mind
it was a sin
to be so well loved
It must be a trap
set to destroy my soul
To make me blind
to the reality
To cause me to slip
in my own longing
To seek the approval
of those around me
They’ll never realize
my reaction
The way their kind words
tore me apart
The discomfort
that came from their comfort
And the lump
that formed in my throat
I don’t know why
I don’t understand
If your kindness
can destroy me…
God
I must really be insecure