i told myself to use the word 'lovely'
                                   more often.
maybe if i spoke of beauty enough, i would become it.

i decided to smoke cigarettes.
convinced that maybe my lips
                     would draw you in faster
                                 than they drew in smoke

i stopped eating meat for two months straight.
                                    tofu is bland and  
                        left us with a shaky aftertaste.

the last time we spoke you'd forgotten my faux loveliness
                           without a trace, you exhaled my breath amongst your skin
                                                   you cooked me steak for dinner.