i was fifteen; disoriented; drunk on shame and a little *****
violated; infringed upon me like a school yard bully
waiting to pounce upon his young victim
i was dressed in white, a pure vacancy
with every drink i was unknowingly inviting the lion
making a bitter den for his carnal disposition-resentment
a secret-i never promised to keep it
we share blood! a casualty, unforgivably forgotten

i wasn't able to bear the weight of his words any longer
needed to relieve the tension building up in my somber, fragile, bones
my apprentice was a slender, silver blade
and i unlocked the beasts' crate-allowed him to flow through the wound
like rain-underneath the bright streetlight on a december evening
looking for anything to help me forget

but the beast i set free, the beast was me!
with that final laceration i desperately looked for the thread
the thread that could stitch my hand back onto wrist
but time became syrup-slowing and sticky
and the moon shone on my left limb, wrongful display
i reach for my pulse. drowning in the cold

in my note-i should have apologized to the maid
for having to clean up
all my pain