She hardly was an early riser. Life at home for her was hell. Violent voices and mean threats. She wrote this on a sunny start of the week, monday. The sun seemed to have been greatly amused at her wrinkled face. Recently, she discovered she would release a **** whenever anxiety or nervousness hit her like a dart.
Her daily life began by 4:30am. There she was in comfort on her irregular bed, till a sharp light hit her face and a thunderous voice boomed her ear drums, His foot steps made so much sound than his voice. It was her father. It wasnt his voice that struck her, or was it the sight of a whip that he wielded so callously. It was the angry look he always beared on his face. It was almost as if he was angry with God for waking him up everyday. Mixed feelings of fright and fuzziness gripped her she hastily greeted He didnt respond. Her sister stood behind her bed whimpering in fear. Only then did she discover who the whip was meant to trash at that moment.
The night before was a nightmare she have seen before. Her ingredients failed her, her attention and her organization towards the food preparation. Her Mom hated excuses Her Dad hated losses and bad soups. Her promises flew away Phone accessories became her get-away. It wasnt the intensity of the funny smell, or the intense awareness of the pepper and salt, but it was the searing look her mum had. Her mom must have mentally shredded her like cabbage, she thought. Her mom wondered why arguements stuck in her tongue like a tatoo. Most times she resented her awkward behaviour,
She saw life has an eazy game. She thought mistakes were a part of our imperfection as human beings and hence should be constantly made. She didnt understand why God placed her in that family. Her mom would constantly remind her of the future She could hear her voice in her sleep Her mom would speak with her eyes when her anger has reached a certain height.
Hereditry played a role in her usual condescesion.
The environment played a role in her usual sadistic talk and thinking.
Yin and Yang, Cold and Hot, the order of seasons Either you can change or you can not. Such is the nature of Monica.