everyone has their place,
their role.
i can’t shine brighter than you.
i can’t step ahead
when you are the captain of the ship.
but i don’t feel safe.
you should be holding the helm.
you say,
“hold this for a moment,
i’ll be right back.”
and i do.
for an eternity of time.
long enough
for everyone to believe
i’m the one steering the ship.
when you return,
no one believes
we’re going anywhere.
because i can’t make decisions for you.
you are the captain.
you should know better.
but the one who takes the blame
is me.
and little by little,
i make myself smaller,
until i disappear inside myself,
holding what others cannot hold,
carrying responsibilities
that were never mine.