i come in and stare.
the desk and wall and picture and pencil
there.
that one
                         spot.                    
transfixed and locked
my eyes are my mind and trapped in the
jaws.                    
seeping, pounding, writhing.
stillness melting down my body
tears follow the drip.

i dont know why im sad.                                                            
a thousand honey bees then
agitate my belly and rolling in my arms
i cannot escape this suffocation.
and i have no excuse why.
a slap to move
to a nap


then it changes.
i cant stop the laughter, it cries.
anxious and fearful.
i say everything wrong
but everything is so
funny
at
a
mile
a
minute
and
before
you
know
it
you've said something offensive.