dear Annabelle,

I told you one day:

"look in the mirror
and tell me what you see."

your face was a mask of sadness
and you cringed as you faced your worst enemy-
yourself.

"I'm a monster."

that's what you whispered.
you were glaring at yourself,
with hate,
pure hate.

I looked at you,
the same girl you called a monster.
and I saw the most beautiful,
breathtaking person in the world.
Annabelle, I just didn't get it.

"you're wrong."

I told you.
I was sure,
that you were just insecure.
after all, how does such a perfect,
gorgeous girl have that horrible
of a view of herself?

turns out you had an eating disorder,
called anorexia nervosa.
but it was so much more than
a desire to lose weight.
you wanted to lose yourself.

after that day,
you just got worse and worse.
your world was sinking,
e v e r  s o  s l o w l y.

I wanted to make you feel batter,
but your demons were in control by then.
and Annabelle, I made you worse.

you starved and cut yourself to death,
and no one could help you.
I should've been there more,
for the girl I loved.

but I let you slip
right from my fingers.
how did I do that?

but I just want you to know,
that your view of yourself was tainted,
and you, radiant Annabelle Simons
weren't saying that,
your demons were.

you were never ugly,
or fat,
or utterly repulsive.

you were naturally beautiful,
in every way.
your smile shined,
as you flipped your midnight hair.
your personality was even brighter.
until the day you decided you weren't good enough
for yourself.

love yourself,
because you're all you have.
hug your flaws,
adore the imperfections.
never try to change who you are
because no matter what you say,
you're good enough.
you always were.

so don't look for acceptance.
it's such an abstract term.
the best thing you can do,
is just look in that mirror,
and give yourself:

A Smile.


love, D.